What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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