shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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