please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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