Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
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