You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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