I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
someone threw a dead crab at me
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize