I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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