So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
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