I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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