that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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