please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
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just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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