i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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