So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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