And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
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