Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize