I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Randomize