he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
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I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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