I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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