My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize