I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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