what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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