called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
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He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
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And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
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