As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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