its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
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He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
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I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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