so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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