Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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