8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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