Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.

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  (908): im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me. http://tfl.nu/x53m
  Replies (6) Good night (446) Bad night (2298) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.

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  (859): I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me. http://tfl.nu/euxr
  Replies (66) Good night (1216) Bad night (23922) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...

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  (540): so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it... http://tfl.nu/rkx1
  Replies (66) Good night (1296) Bad night (7028)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground

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  (480): I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground http://tfl.nu/mit9
  Replies (22) Good night (965) Bad night (4209) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"

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  (602): I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs" http://tfl.nu/3iif
  Replies (19) Good night (3582) Bad night (521) Order T-Shirt
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"

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  (630): i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis" http://tfl.nu/h67z
  Replies (20) Good night (873) Bad night (5265) Order T-Shirt
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  (949): View more from California

  Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?

  (1-949): View more from California

  are you seriously doing this over text message

  (949): View more from California

  hahaha no, but i am dumping you.

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  (949): Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me? (1-949): are you seriously doing this over text message (949): hahaha no, but i am dumping you. http://tfl.nu/2zd7
  Replies (353) Good night (7746) Bad night (48315)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.

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  (210): He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax. http://tfl.nu/uaku
  Replies (14) Good night (1119) Bad night (7641) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.

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  (678): I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities. http://tfl.nu/k0mm
  Replies (12) Good night (2830) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.

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  (402): My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself. http://tfl.nu/70br
  Replies (13) Good night (3130) Bad night (548) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago

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  (815): I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago http://tfl.nu/274p
  Replies (11) Good night (432) Bad night (2534) Order T-Shirt
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level

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  (706): I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level http://tfl.nu/0mkf
  Replies (11) Good night (1312) Bad night (832) Order T-Shirt
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.

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  (907): I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer. http://tfl.nu/7eiw
  Replies (8) Good night (1136) Bad night (404) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.

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  (816): Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg. http://tfl.nu/r8tk
  Replies (2) Good night (1031) Bad night (353) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.

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  (314): How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death. http://tfl.nu/x5xg
  Replies (4) Good night (898) Bad night (217) Order T-Shirt

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