is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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