I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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