I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize