So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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