well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MIDGETS
????
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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