I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
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It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
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Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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