Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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