Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.

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  (248): In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary. http://tfl.nu/2umo
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Chicken burrito, or no deal.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Is that code for my vagina?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito

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  (402): Chicken burrito, or no deal. (1-402): Is that code for my vagina? (402): Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito http://tfl.nu/ldfv
  Replies (30) Good night (4124) Bad night (891)
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  (949): View more from California

  i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"

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  (949): i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE" http://tfl.nu/e95g
  Replies (18) Good night (937) Bad night (4106)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.

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  (309): with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone. http://tfl.nu/1pr2
  Replies (9) Good night (4016) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.

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  (517): And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single. http://tfl.nu/lqam
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?

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  (203): Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high? http://tfl.nu/olxn
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.

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  (423): It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin. http://tfl.nu/eslz
  Replies (5) Good night (2272) Bad night (653)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  That's the stuff legends are made of

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  (847): Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate? (412): That's the stuff legends are made of http://tfl.nu/wudz
  Replies (12) Good night (1168) Bad night (922)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".

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  (416): Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked". http://tfl.nu/jucw
  Replies (4) Good night (1874) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life

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  (781): U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life http://tfl.nu/mfnn
  Replies (2) Good night (405) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.

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  (608): I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge. http://tfl.nu/n8yp
  Replies (2) Good night (371) Bad night (1007) Order T-Shirt
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...

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  (218): I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin... http://tfl.nu/zsou
  Replies (2) Good night (184) Bad night (465) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...

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  (989): I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase... http://tfl.nu/38c4
  Replies (2) Good night (336) Bad night (235) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10

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  (817): A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10 http://tfl.nu/8aoh
  Replies (2) Good night (507) Bad night (189) Order T-Shirt
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods

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  (205): This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods http://tfl.nu/4tdp
  Replies (5) Good night (430) Bad night (222) Order T-Shirt

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