you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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