The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize