I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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