How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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