Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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