I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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