You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
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We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize