Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
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Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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