I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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