last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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