haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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