I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
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I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
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I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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