Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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