Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
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he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
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